What is a compromise? A settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions.
Is a compromise long lasting?
We all experience situations in life where we stand in a corner with a hand on our head, unmindful of being watched, figuring out a way – if we are sane and lucky – to end our acute or chronic misery.
The sufferer tries to combat his agony before it spirals out of control. He may walk into the solitude of an old pub to smoke or drink. Nerves calmed. But he might endure the anguish for hours for a solution remains a dream. He has long let compromise clink with forks and spoons on the dining table.
Let’s talk about husband and wife.
Compromise compresses the windpipe of this relationship gently and steadily, and for years, both might not feel the stretch in their necks. Only when the choke is felt one day – which is likely when things have reached a dead end or sacrifices began to mean nothing – does the head start to feel heavy.
The body is moved to the ER, the diagnosis of a brain stroke made. When the sufferer is unconscious and is lying in bed, the other half – husband or wife – arrives. Either might wonder if compromise was long allowed to jingle and jazz, resulting in the painful present. Either might wonder if collision was a better option, which might have spared the ER visit.
What is a collision? A brief event in which two or more bodies come together – the collision of the particles results in an exchange of energy and a change of direction.
Is collision a viable alternative?
Collision is a crash for which a husband and a wife could possibly handle the non-death part and move on to live their respective lives, effectively choking the clown of compromise once and for all.
In the beginning of a newlywed’s life, making concessions is easy, “Honey, I love you (here’s my concession),” but with time, concessions to settle differences become a habit, and one starts to take the other for granted. Repeat this for years and there one goes heading to the ER.
Suppose the ER patient is saved, and he’s out of the hospital. After a week or two of meaningful life together under a roof, who can guarantee that things won’t revert to the old concessional ways. Beware: compromise never expires; and no-compromise is a sure collision.
I watched Mad Men some years ago. In its second season, Don Draper – the lead protagonist who’s going through marital issues – is reading a book, Meditations in an Emergency. The title is self-explanatory. Would this book be of help?
The attempt is to save people, not lose them to brain stroke.